Ringing out 2012!

Greetings from our home in the hinterlands...

Another year has flown by, leaving us to wonder “what the heck just happened?”  

Willie is going to dazzle you with another of his famous holiday missives, so I will keep my contribution this year short.  The highlights of the year…

We got to visit all our parents this year, which was great.  Off to AL in January to visit Willie’s family, and out to OR to see my folks in July.  Willie was able to make several additional trips in to Alabama during the year, and we were even able to get his mom up here for a visit.  Unfortunately, while she was here, Hurricane Sandy blew into town, knocking out our power (and heat and water) for 5 days.  Fortunately, other than being cold and annoyed, we were fine.   

  Willie continued to race this year and had one of his best races ever at Watkins Glen in the fall.  The car is tucked away for the winter now, but will be brought out of mothballs (literally) in the spring.  At that point, you may hear all sorts of manly grunting and other noises emanating from our neighborhood as the He Man Racing team gets the car ready for the 2013 season. 

 
As for me, I continue to pursue my passion for photography by taking pictures of birds, animals, insects, flowers and nearly anything else that crosses my path.  I bought a big zoom lens this year, which I’ve dubbed “Big Daddy” and it goes almost everywhere with me.  I entered a few contests during the year, including the NJ State Fair, where I won 3rd place in the Fauna division!  I also completed a challenge I’d given myself of taking at least one photo every single day for 365 straight days, earning me a nice story in the local paper.  I enjoyed that challenge so much that I’ve decided to go for 730 days.  

My brain scans have continued to come out “clean” and next spring will mark 5 years since the Great Brain Tumor Adventure.  After this next scan, I can go to every couple of years instead of yearly which will be nice since I view the MRI as the Tunnel of Terror.  I'm happy to report that we are both in good health other than the usual aches and pains that accompany middle age.  Which neither of us is admitting to, incidentally! 


The cats are fit and keep us entertained.  Phoebe continues to be the quintessential flower child who thinks that the entire world is here for her entertainment and pleasure; while Rocket continues to think that everyone and everything is out to get him.  Yep, he’s out little Conspiracy Theorist with a flair for drama.

And, now, here’s Willie…

Whew, finally.... At 51 years old, I have everything I could possibly need and I’m finally comfortable in my skin, albeit loose, and in several places free from the burden of hair. Yep, no need to keep up with the latest style of hair dryers any longer, nor am I concerned about the proper length so as not to run afoul of corporate compliance officers.

It’s very freeing actually.  But there’s another benefit to having reached this point in life.  Holidays and special occasions are more about spending time with the ones you love, and not about what gifts you secretly hope you’ll receive.  Not that I don’t like gifts!  Who doesn’t like gifts?  Man, I LOVE gifts…and the more expensive and unencumbered they are, the better!

But as I think back over previous gift-receiving occasions, I find myself trying to suppress an uncontrollable eyelid twitch.  Not sure how, but I think it has to do with the infrequently discussed concept of Conditional Gift Giving (CCG).  For some, this is foreign, so an explanation alone would not suffice.  It was different back in the day.  You really needed to be committed to taking on the responsibility of receiving a gift.  Nothing was what it seemed: there were multiple levels and many, many dark corridors.  If I had to compare it to the challenges of today, it’s akin to finding where that last number 9 goes on the five-star Sudoku board …only the strong survived.  This was at best a lifetime responsibility, and at worst, your dreams became tortured and turned into little vignettes of doom. It’s so contrary to today’s norms.  Everything is just so disposable… no consequences, be happy.

Possibly I can convey what I mean by CCG by way of examples…not mine of course, just those I’m aware of.  And, they’re ageless and will possibly make your own eyelids twitch….

CHILDHOOD

·         “…and to go with those gloves are these skis, but don’t take them on a hill because you’ll get killed.”

·         “These sweaters are a little big now (XXXXL), but you’ll grow into them later so put them away for now.”

·         “…this new bicycle has 10 speeds, but you can only use the first 3, and never go into the street.”

·         “Here’s you’re allowance of $3.00, but you can’t spend it on candy.”

·         “This new ping pong table is all yours, but I don’t want your friends over to the house.”

·         “This new radio is all yours, but you can’t use it until we’re certain you won’t swallow the batteries.”

·         “Here’s a life-long membership for Karate school, but the moment I find you fighting, it’s over.”

·         “I bought you ice cream for dessert, but you have to finish your tripe dinner first.”

·         “Here’s a brand new pair of white all start Chuck Taylor Converse sneakers, but don’t get them dirty!”

TEEN AGE YEARS

·         “You’ve earned your freedom, so this car is for you, but you’ll have to put gas in it - and it gets 1.3 mpg.”

·         “Here’s a key to the house, but no friends over and I don’t want you in the house alone.”

ADULTHOOD

·         “Here’s this stained glass ornament that has been passed down for generations, we think.  And although we’re not sure who it originated from, or the significance of it, and although it’s kind of hideous looking, you are now the custodian of it and have to commit to safeguarding it for all eternity.  Oh, and be careful with it because the corner has broken off.”

·         “Don’t even think about re-gifting anything I’ve ever given you because even after I’m gone, I’ll be keeping my eye on you!”

So once again, I’m sure you’re left with the question, “What does this have to do with Christmas?”  Well, we wanted to give the gift of pause (I really wanted it to be the gift of paws, but our cats were looking over my shoulder and ran under the bed) and possibly a little laughter.  Oh by the way, you can’t share this with anyone.

Happy Holidays, Kids 

Enjoy a few of Deb's favorite photos of the year...

 

Great blue heron ... with lunch

Great Swallowtails

Eureka! (blue jay)

Dwight, Sheila, Willie and Deb, in reflection

Spider web at dawn

Hummingbird in the Zinnias

Waning Moon

Sunset in our back yard

Male house finch feeding baby

Sheila, teaching Willie how to Geo-cache (Portland, OR)

Autumn in NJ

Hummingbird

 

 

Savannah Sparrow in Portland OR

Rain drops

Fall in NJ

Summer in NJ

Adios 2011

So, the official verdict from Willie and I is that has been a seriously weird and not-much-fun year. Which is my excuse for not getting on the ball with holiday cards or blogs or much else. So, where to start?

The year started with us losing our sweet dog, Carrie on Jan. 2. She was nearly 13 which is a pretty ripe old age for a collie, but that didn't make it any easier. The cats, I am happy to report, are doing fine.

We made a family decision last year to move Willie's parents down to Huntsville, AL where the climate is much better than NJ, they have a brand new single story house, and are walking distance to Philip and Linda (eldest son and his wife). Not to mention being close to two adorable great grandsons! Suffice to say, it wasn't an easy move for anyone! It did, however, involve Willie and I taking a road trip in a U-Haul which was fun (in a scary kind of way!)

My dad had surgery in August to re-route his abdominal arteries - turns out he had advanced PAD. It was a tough surgery, but he came through like a trooper and before you could say "poop" my mom had him out walking everywhere in Portland! I flew out for the surgery, of course.

In November, Willie turned 50 which was accompanied by more whining than you've ever heard. In between the whining, I kept hearing the words "Corvette" and "liquid black" but I just ignored 'em.

On the heels of Willie's birthday we got the call that everyone dreads - telling us that Willie's beloved Aunt Rosie had passed away. Although it was not entirely unexpected, it was still shocking and terribly sad. We got Willie's mom (Aunt Rosie's sister) up here for the funeral and a few weeks of rest.

Before we knew it, it was Thanksgiving and we found ourselves faced with our first ever Thanksgiving without Willie's parents, aunt, cousins, etc at our house. We decided at the last minute to go stay in NYC for a couple of days. We stayed in downtown right across from the World Trade Center site and were fortunate enough to get passes for the new 911 Memorial Park. It was wonderful, and a perfect way to spend the holiday.

Earlier in the year, I decided to amp up my life-long photography hobby. I've learned a great deal this year, and am getting ready to enter a few things in some low-level contests. Along the way, I started taking a lot of bird pictures, which morphed into about 4,000 bird feeders. Willie is trying to be patient, but he wasn't happy when he saw a squirrel on our deck happily eating bird food. He keeps mumbling something about "furry rats" ... I'm ignoring it. Same as the birthday whining. I started a daily photo-blog if you'd care to have a look at http://www.blipfoto.com/dbifulco.

Willie got some good racing in this season and is already looking ahead to next summer and more racing.

For the first time since we've been married, none of our parents are going to be here for Christmas which leaves both of us feeling a bit unsettled. My parents are staying out in AZ where it is warm, and Willie's parents will be in Huntsville with the rest of the family. Not sure yet what we will do for the holiday, maybe another trip into the City.

We plan to head down to AL right after the holidays to catch up with everyone there, and then out to Oregon in the spring when my parents get back from their extended stay in the dessert.

We hope you all have a happy and healthy holiday season!

Happy Ho-Ho-Holidays!

As 2010 races to its conclusion, I find myself thinking back on the year … and wondering what the hell happened to it! As usual, it was a busy year for us.

We started the year by traveling to Wisconsin in February (yes, I know, I know…Wisconsin in the winter … ice, snow, cold … I get it) so that Deb could spend some time with the country’s leading facial nerve retraining therapist at University of Wisconsin Medical Center. We flew in on Valentines Day and spent three days hard at work. Well, Deb was hard at work … Willie was trying not to laugh out loud at some of the crazy things the therapist had Deb doing with her face. Deb came back with about 2 hours a day of various facial exercises and stretches, all designed to whip the damaged nerves into shape. Almost immediately, the lingering pain disappeared and Deb started to see visible differences in the way her face was moving. It was a great way to start the year! In fact, it was so much fun that we went back in September for a follow up visit! Just as a personal observation, Wisconsin is much nicer in September than in February.

Deb’s dear friend, Lynn, lost her long battle with cancer and passed away with her sister by her side on March 19. As she wished, we had a joyous celebration of her life in New York City with family and friends sharing stories and memories. We miss her every day.

Over the winter months, the He Man Racing team built a brand new Spec Miata race car, which debuted at the New Jersey racetrack in June. Deb isn’t entirely sure what went on during those winter months, but rest assured that there was a lot of chest thumping and other manly things. Although the race season was somewhat shorter than usual due to length of time needed to build the new car (all that chest-thumping takes a lot of time), it was a success on every level. The last race of the season was the 13 hour endurance race at Virginia International Speedway, always a favorite of the He Men, and one that happens right around Willie’s birthday. And, of course, it gave Willie an excuse to leave Deb all alone to deal with the trick-or-treaters… One tiny goblin was so aggressive that he snatched the entire candy bowl out of Deb’s hands and she had to wrestle him to the ground to get it back. Next year we are going to booby trap the yard.

In between racing activities, Willie decided to challenge himself by doing a biathlon (run, bike, and run) in the spring. It was so much fun, that he decided to do it again, beating his times substantially. He also beat up his knees in the process so we expect a trip to the orthopedic surgeon sometime in 2011. Isn’t it fun getting older? Don’t answer. That’s a rhetorical question…

Deb’s parents, Dwight and Sheila, drove their big-ass motor home out here in the spring and we had a great visit. As usual, they left our property in much better shape than it was when they arrived. And, they managed to get some geo-caching in while they were here, too. We tried to get them to stay all summer, but they weren’t having any of it and before we knew it, they were headed back to Portland, OR to spend a few months in their condo. And, of course, as soon as the weather in Portland started to get slightly chilly, they closed up the condo and headed south. They are currently ensconced in Arizona enjoying warm weather and virtually non-stop geo caching.





We celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary this year. (Good grief – has it really been ten years???) It had been our plan to return to Greece, where we spent our honeymoon, but aligning dates, flights, hotels and vacation time became an exercise in frustration so we decided to go someplace we’d never been before …. Ireland! We had an amazing time and will definitely return. The weather was perfect – so much so that we suspect the Irish have created a myth about the rain to keep the country to themselves! We flew in and out of Shannon, which is a quiet little airport, very easy to navigate. We spent time in the Burren and saw the famous Cliffs of Moher which totally exceeded expectations. Truly breathtaking. From there, we traveled down to Waterford to meet up with one of Deb’s acoustic neuroma friends. Lorenzo and his wife Sheila showed us Ireland through the eyes of locals and it was one of the highlights of our trip. We had many laughs, drank some excellent wine and ate some amazing food. And we saw some pretty cool sights, too! From there, we traveled around the southwestern coastline, where we saw breathtaking coastlines, the greenest landscapes imaginable, and (to Deb’s utter delight) lots of sheep! Sheep in Ireland … go figure.

Willie demonstrated his masterful driving skills … on the “wrong” side of the road. Deb spent the first 3 days shrieking “you’re too close to the edge of the road” or “you’re in the wrong lane” or “what? Another roundabout?” Willie clutched the steering while and dodged sheep. Actually, every time there was a sheep sighting, Deb insisted on stopping the car to take pictures. No matter that none of the roads have shoulders.

On the heels of our second trip to Wisconsin, Philip and Linda (Willie’s brother and
Holiday greetings from the Bifulcos…
his wife) came up from Huntsville, AL for a week-long visit. We had a wonderful time with them and truly hated to see them leave. Linda and Deb spent some quality time bonding over Riesling – and the men watched in fear.

After struggling for the last few years with being deaf on one side, Deb finally decided to take the leap and start the process of getting a bone-anchored hearing device (baha.) She had surgery the Thursday before Thanksgiving to implant a titanium rod in her skull, directly behind her deaf ear. Once that has completely healed and the rod has grown into the bone (about 90 days) she will be the proud recipient of a high tech processing device that will snap on to the side of her head and allow her to “hear” via bone conduction. It is pretty cutting edge stuff and we are very optimistic that it will help reduce the challenges of being single side deaf. And, of course, there is the coolness of being a bionic woman! If you want to know more about this device you can visit Cochlear’s website at http://products.cochlearamericas.com/baha


The cats and dog are all still with us. Carrie, our collie, is nearly 13 so she is slowing down noticeably. She sleeps a lot and tries to pretend that she doesn’t have to share her living space with cats. And speaking of cats…they are still ruling the universe … they’re cats after all. Phoebe thinks the world is there solely to entertain her, while Rocket knows that the world is out to get him and spends all of his free time plotting his counter attack.

We hope that you and yours enjoy a wonderful holiday season filled with love and good cheer. And, good wine!

And, now a few words from Willie (yes, I have successfully browbeaten him into writing this...)

ROOM FOR ONE MORE ELF?

Having just read a couple of our previous Christmas letters, it would appear that the underlying message was very clear - we provide a little insight into our lives and hopefully somewhere within the haphazardly arranged words you make a connection and without intent, a smile is born – sort of a gift from us to you. Yeah, not so much, people.
In fact, I’m troubled by the lack of assistance I’ve received – not even one hollow gesture. It’s now obvious to me that the years of subliminal cries for help cloaked by Christmas greetings have gone unnoticed. Therefore, I find myself needing to take a more aggressive approach this year. It’s not like I’m asking you to read tea leaves or pickle ginger – it’s more like that message in bottle stuff without having to go to the ocean. Geez, haven’t you ever watched Bones? The story is never what’s directly in front of you – it’s deeper, waiting to be rescued from the depths of despair and hopelessness.
What’s my point? What’s the one single most important theme throughout all prior Christmas greetings? No, not that William is simply a poor bastard being forced to live out his existence in a woman dominated world without so much as a clue. Time’s up! Let me help…your homework this week is to sit in your most comfortable chair and watch one episode of House – it airs Monday nights @ 8pm…I’m begging you man, just watch one show and this will all come together.
OK, where was I…, subliminal messages…, common theme…, mmmm…., OK, the common theme has always been about Willie driving beyond the limits of his abilities and certainly beyond anything remotely attributable to luck! Come on folks, don’t you remember 2004’s Christmas letter where there was a picture of me and a race team with comments about how I was getting faster. Did you miss 2006 when Debbi referenced a wreck caused by me obviously driving beyond my abilities? How about 2007’s clue when Debbi said I drove in a 24-hour race – who does that?…didn’t that tip you off? How about the 2009 reference to the car having been driven past the point of being drivable any longer? And now, did you miss today’s message about driving in Ireland with unmitigated terror around every hedgerow?
One last chance….it’s not about racing…it’s never been about the racing! OK I said it. Have you ever seen or spoken to a race car driver? They’re fit, really athletic, “eye of the tiger” A-type people who are fearless with boundless amounts of enthusiasm, determination and skill. They’re definitely not a no talent, pudgy, greying, pot-belly, beer-swilling, post middle aged Mario Andretti wanna-be like Mike Tidwell (OK, that was wrong and basically an inside jab that means nothing to most of you, but gets me even with someone who vented disappointment over a recent Christmas letter).
Did you put it all together now? OMG (that’s just me testing my new Facebook keyboard – yep, not sure what it means either). It’s me trying desperately to run/drive/hide from Debbi’s insistence of writing the next Christmas letter! Do you know what it’s like trying to stay ahead of Debbi when she’s on a mission? Now don’t get me wrong, I love the women – would be willing to go to battle, slay dragons, kill spiders, endure countless hours of watching her pull off the Pee-Wee Herman dance, but I simply cannot endure the pressure of having to write my part of the Christmas letter once she’s completed her section. So, each year, I get into a flame-retardant suit with all the safety gear known to man, and drive like a man possessed under the premise it’s racing, but wanting only to stay ahead of Debbi and the planning gene that I’m is not part of male DNA.
So, no need to lend a hand, especially now that I’ve spelled it all out. But, if you happen to see Santa this year, please send him my way – I have to think there’s at least one more seat on his sleigh for another elf.

2009 Holiday Letter

A few thoughts from Debbi ...

As yet another Christmas approaches, I am compelled to wonder why it is that as we get older, the time flies by faster and faster. When you’re a kid, each year feels like an eternity – which confirms my belief that youth really IS wasted on the young!

We (okay, it was me) decided that since we didn’t get a vacation last year – unless you consider 3 days at NYU Medical Center and brain surgery a vacation? – we would take a nice cruise up through New England and Eastern Canada. It was the last cruise of the season and we scored a great price on it. Now we know why. The first day we were at sea, we got to experience gale force winds (gusting over 70 knots) and 20 foot swells. As some of you know, Willie is not really very sea-worthy. What we didn’t know is that I am no longer a good sailor either. Hm – imagine having impaired balance and getting tossed around the sea on a ship. It was like a carnival ride, without a safety harness. Luckily, things settled down on Day Two, but not before the top deck of the ship sustained a crack from all the rough weather. This supports Willie’s observation that, since we met, every vacation I’ve forced on us has involved some near-death experience! Weather notwithstanding, we had a very enjoyable week. Next year, for our 10th anniversary, we plan to return to Greece – hopefully without any mishaps!

I slowed down a bit work-wise this year. Turns out that brain tumor/brain surgery isn’t quite as easy to recover from as I initially thought. However, in spite of some energy dips and still having a profound need to nap at odd times, I did manage to have a pretty good year between Bifulco Business Solutions and The Coach Academy. So much so that I have decided to try my hand at writing a book next year. Stay tuned.

We finished our wine this year and bottled it this fall. We ordered Chilean grapes from a local winery last year so that we could go through the whole wine-making process from crushing to bottling. Unfortunately, I missed the crushing part (that pesky brain tumor thing), but got to have the rest of the experience. Pictured here is the wine bottling team.

The He Men Racing team has finally retired the blue Miata that they’ve been racing the last 6 years. In my humble opinion, they could have done this at least a year ago, but what do I know? Anyway, fear not as the HMR team will rise from the ashes to race again! As I write this, we have a white Miata in the garage, waiting to be stripped of everything that makes it a car (seats, steering wheel, engine, transmission, etc) . The rest of the winter will be spent rebuilding it as a race car.

This summer, we traveled to Chicago to attend the Acoustic Neuroma Association bi-annual symposium. Got a chance to meet a bunch of other brain tumor folks, and deduced that only really cool people get brain tumors! Had a lot of fun, and learned lots, too. It was pretty entertaining to be around a lot of other people who can’t walk a straight line and are deaf in one ear. As well as some others who have varying degrees of facial impairment. I felt totally at home!

In other news, our nephew Brian, just finished his second tour of duty with the US Army in Iraq. We are so glad he is on his way home, and hope that he won't be deployed again anytime soon. Our niece, Rebecca, made us grand aunt and uncle again this year when she gave birth to an adorable baby boy.

I made a trip out to Seattle in September to visit my friend Lynn, who continues to humble me with her dignity, grace, and humor as she fights cancer. While on the Left Coast, I swung down to Portland to visit with my parents for a few days. It was a good trip, although I came home sicker than a dog with what we all suspect was a mild case of Swine Flu. Which I gave to everyone here (yep, I am giver.)

Our parents continue to be in good health, for which we are grateful. My parents are flying out for the holidays and we will be having everyone over to our house for Christmas. Our animals (the 12 legs) are still doing well, and running our lives. Expect to hear more from Willie on this…

And, now, here is the star of the show … Willie!

Who’s Zoomin Who?

A couple weeks ago, Debbi and I attempted to lay claim to some quiet time in our sitting room, trying to savor what was left of a busy weekend, only to be accompanied by 12 legs worth of triangulated animals.


Quiet time rarely works out when you have pets. I started to think about why this is and who’s in control here? You see, as is often the case, Debbi was being held captive by the cats as they do battle in her lap for the primo spot. On any given day, Debbi’s lap serves as the boxing ring for about 25 lbs of cats. For you WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) fans, this is like a cage match where only the morbidly fascinated watch, and not unlike professional wrestling, someone is going to leave on a gurney.

Only after a couple of years of being monitored by the animals have I come to realize that their idiosyncratic behavior has much more meaning than initially thought. It’s really akin to aliens watching our every move, constantly testing us to see how we’ll react to certain situations. Our only saving grace is that their little paws aren’t equipped to turn the pages of a “Waterboarding made Simple” book found in their little cat tree house. Hmmmm, must remember to change my Amazon.com password.

An example of how manipulative these little aliens are can be found in Rocket (a.k.a. Scar), our elder cat. He’ll go to great lengths to seek me out in the house to see how long it takes me to follow him up to the 2nd floor room where he allows us to feed him. To get me upstairs, he’ll swat at my ankles and then run about three feet before stopping and looking back to see if I’m still in tow. This will go on for about 5-6 times until he’s hovering over his food bowl, tail raised high and proud of his accomplishments no doubt, with me petting him. Not sure how this little ritual started, but he prefers that I pet him while he eats. And should I stop petting him, or attempt to walk away, my action usually warrants a counter action – yep, I get swatted again until I’ve assumed the position. In fact, I’ve often wondered if a cat’s tail was like the digits on a human’s hand, which finger would he be waving at me….

Strange, but whenever this little series of events plays out, the other puppeteers, sorry I meant pets, are nowhere to be found. My guess is that it’s all part of their master plan thereby allowing the other animals to plot their next move.

Anyway, I won’t bore you with anymore details of our lives, especially with so many other Christmas letters vying for your attention, but I have thought if reindeer are anything like cats, it’s only by chance that Santa finds his way to your house. Because you have to wonder, is Santa steering or is he just holding on, hoping not to get swatted!

Enjoy the Holidays!

2008 Holiday Letter from the Bifulcos

Holiday Greetings from the Bifulco Family

Deb’s thoughts on the year…

Oh, what a year this has been! I guess as we are all getting on in years, health problems start to creep into the picture – in our case, they leapt in without warning!

So, as most everyone knows, the “medical season” started with Virginia (Willie’s mom) having an emergency appendectomy in late February, followed by me being diagnosed with a rare brain tumor (benign), followed by Phil (Willie’s dad) falling and breaking his hip, followed by me having brain surgery on April 30. Yep, kind of sounds like a medical marathon, doesn’t it?

I would have to say that the person who’s had the toughest year in our family has definitely been Willie. So much so, in fact, that he’s lost a bit of his normal humor mojo this year – leaving it to me to be the funny one for a change. Okay, so here goes…

As with all things, you manage to find some pretty funny moments along the way – you have to in order to get through it. And, since it is easier to laugh at my own expense than anyone else’s, I’ll keep this mostly directed at myself with an occasional excursion to chuckle at someone else.

As we hovered in the emergency room with Virginia during her Big Appendix Adventure, she kept apologizing and suggesting that it was “just a little gas.” Hhhmm – ruptured appendix, just a little gas – you decide…

A week before my surgery, I went to visit Phil in rehab (where he spent about 8 weeks) and he was concerned that he didn’t know the location of his “urine bottle” and asked me to find it (I secretly prayed that I wouldn’t lay eyes on it…)

Upon being told that I had a brain tumor, and verifying that it wasn’t cancer, I remember thinking – “damn, this is really inconvenient, wonder if I can just put it off for awhile…”

I came through rather long surgery with facial paralysis on the right side, meaning that pretty much nothing on that side moved. So what did the genius dietician serve me – broth with rice!! Imagine it – my lips don’t move and I have no way of containing liquids or solids in my mouth. I think you get the picture. Clean gown, please, garcon!

When I first got home from the hospital, I hadn’t yet mastered the whole mouth/lip thing. One of the funnier moments was when I was sitting on the sofa talking to my mom, took a dainty swig of water from my bottle, and watched it literally fly out of my mouth right at mom! We both nearly fell out of our seats laughing.

While I was initially horrified by my droopy face, I did come to find some benefits – for example, no lines or creases on the “bad” side! Yep, smooth as a baby’s butt! I am almost sorry to say that as motion returns to my face, my skin is once again starting to look that of a 52-year old (albeit a very young looking one!)

I knew going into the surgery that they would remove part of my hearing and balance nerve on that side, leaving me totally deaf the right side and probably pretty “tippy.”

The upside of being Single Side Deaf (SSD to those of us in the know) is that when I sleep on my “good” ear, I don’t hear a thing – including snoring, animals on the move, burglars, etc. It’s quite peaceful! And, if someone is seated to my right, I usually can’t hear them, so it is great when you want to ignore someone and get away with it.

I am sure that my neighbors are hiding behind their curtains wondering why I am staggering up and down the street while walking Carrie – no doubt they think I’m hitting the bottle really early in the morning! I am thinking of going for a walk with an empty wine bottle in my hand just to foster some gossip. Little do they know that I can stagger just fine without imbibing a thing! Put a glass of wine in me, and I can’t even make it down the driveway! Hhmm – maybe we should tape that and put it on U-Tube?

You see, you really can find the humor is just about anything. This has been a learning year for Willie and me, to be certain. And while not every moment has been filled with laughter, we’ve found enough humor to get us through the year. We hope that you all find some things to laugh about or at least smile about this year, too! (Although please don’t feel like you have to top a brain tumor – humor can be found much more easily than that!)
We wish you good health and moments of insane laugh

And, now, here are Willie's thoughts on the year (and perhaps some insight into why I love him so much...)

Each year I look forward to writing my portion of our Christmas letter – it’s somewhat cathartic as it’s a perfect forum for me to let free that inner voice with only a moderate amount of censorship – usually governed by my lovely bride’s better sense of what’s appropriate.

I must admit though, as the inevitable self-imposed deadline was quickly approaching, It was difficult settling on a topic, but I remained hopeful that something would fall from the sky – something that would be worthy of your time and of the Christmas spirit. Well, to be honest I found myself missing the most important part this year - the “funny” factor.

I typically become inspired on an early Saturday morning where I hunker down over my computer and start banging away at the keys. Usually, within minutes I find myself laughing with some of the things that come to mind - unfortunately most of which require immediate editing. If only I could send some of what so easily flows from the keyboard, you would, well, be scared….but probably pee yourself with laughter as I often find myself doing.

So where has the funny gone? Not sure really, but I have my suspicion it will return in time for next year’s letter.

You see, for me this was one of those pivotal years where the innocence of youth has seemingly slipped a little further away. Kind of sad really, but not because I’ve ever believed that there’s a pony in a pile of every poop (that’s a Debbi-ism), but somehow there was always a sense of security in knowing that if I screwed up, my safety net of family and friends would be there to dust me off, pick me up and point me in the right direction again. Now I don’t doubt that this will ever be untrue, it’s just that the mettle and security I so much cling to in the people that are a part of my life has been tested this year. And although there’s some good that has come out of all this, it has been a year of transitioning roles – one that forced me to pick up the tattered fibers of strength from those who have been my support and try to figure out how to weave them into my own personal armor and do my best to breathe more life into them. I just hope I’ve been half the son, brother and spouse that my family has been to me through the years.

Well, no doubt we’ll have many more opportunities to laugh and tell even bigger fish stories in the future, but whatever challenges Debbi and I will encounter, we’ll face them with the tenacity and courage that we have witnessed and benefited from in the people that we surround ourselves with.

Recently, my brother sent me an email that was passed on to him from a neighbor we had in Queens. It seems someone I called a friend over 35 years ago recently passed away. When my family moved us to NJ, we lost touch as is often the case with childhood friends, but the memory of our carefree youth remains even though I regret not having taken the time through the years to reach out. But it made me think about what could be salvaged from such a tough year filled with uncertainty – maybe there was even a lesson to be learned. I don’t believe it will have much value for those who have already figured it out, but for me it’s finally about looking ahead, carving out the future and not looking behind any more. Not sure how this new chapter will unfold, but I’m starting out with a couple of ground rules…

Above all else, family remains a priority but personal happiness must have equal standing, have no regrets, pay it forward when you’re able, but most of all...don't put off keeping yourself healthy - you don't always get to fix this later.

Not sure what this has to do with Christmas? This year I received the gift of clarity from my lovely bride – I just wish she didn’t have to go through such extremes to help me figure it all out.

Be well.