Holiday Greetings from the Bifulco Family
Deb’s thoughts on the year…
Oh, what a year this has been! I guess as we are all getting on in years, health problems start to creep into the picture – in our case, they leapt in without warning!
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So, as most everyone knows, the “medical season” started with Virginia (Willie’s mom) having an emergency appendectomy in late February, followed by me being diagnosed with a rare brain tumor (benign), followed by Phil (Willie’s dad) falling and breaking his hip, followed by me having brain surgery on April 30. Yep, kind of sounds like a medical marathon, doesn’t it?
I would have to say that the person who’s had the toughest year in our family has definitely been Willie. So much so, in fact, that he’s lost a bit of his normal humor mojo this year – leaving it to me to be the funny one for a change. Okay, so here goes…
As with all things, you manage to find some pretty funny moments along the way – you have to in order to get through it. And, since it is easier to laugh at my own expense than anyone else’s, I’ll keep this mostly directed at myself with an occasional excursion to chuckle at someone else.
As we hovered in the emergency room with Virginia during her Big Appendix Adventure, she kept apologizing and suggesting that it was “just a little gas.” Hhhmm – ruptured appendix, just a little gas – you decide…
A week before my surgery, I went to visit Phil in rehab (where he spent about 8 weeks) and he was concerned that he didn’t know the location of his “urine bottle” and asked me to find it (I secretly prayed that I wouldn’t lay eyes on it…)
Upon being told that I had a brain tumor, and verifying that it wasn’t cancer, I remember thinking – “damn, this is really inconvenient, wonder if I can just put it off for awhile…”
I came through rather long surgery with facial paralysis on the right side, meaning that pretty much nothing on that side moved. So what did the genius dietician serve me – broth with rice!! Imagine it – my lips don’t move and I have no way of containing liquids or solids in my mouth. I think you get the picture. Clean gown, please, garcon!
When I first got home from the hospital, I hadn’t yet mastered the whole mouth/lip thing. One of the funnier moments was when I was sitting on the sofa talking to my mom, took a dainty swig of water from my bottle, and watched it literally fly out of my mouth right at mom! We both nearly fell out of our seats laughing.
While I was initially horrified by my droopy face, I did come to find some benefits – for example, no lines or creases on the “bad” side! Yep, smooth as a baby’s butt! I am almost sorry to say that as motion returns to my face, my skin is once again starting to look that of a 52-year old (albeit a very young looking one!)
I knew going into the surgery that they would remove part of my hearing and balance nerve on that side, leaving me totally deaf the right side and probably pretty “tippy.”
The upside of being Single Side Deaf (SSD to those of us in the know) is that when I sleep on my “good” ear, I don’t hear a thing – including snoring, animals on the move, burglars, etc. It’s quite peaceful! And, if someone is seated to my right, I usually can’t hear them, so it is great when you want to ignore someone and get away with it.
I am sure that my neighbors are hiding behind their curtains wondering why I am staggering up and down the street while walking Carrie – no doubt they think I’m hitting the bottle really early in the morning! I am thinking of going for a walk with an empty wine bottle in my hand just to foster some gossip. Little do they know that I can stagger just fine without imbibing a thing! Put a glass of wine in me, and I can’t even make it down the driveway! Hhmm – maybe we should tape that and put it on U-Tube?
You see, you really can find the humor is just about anything. This has been a learning year for
Willie and me, to be certain. And while not every moment has been filled with laughter, we’ve found enough humor to get us through the year. We hope that you all find some things to laugh about or at least smile about this year, too! (Although please don’t feel like you have to top a brain tumor – humor can be found much more easily than that!)
We wish you good health and moments of insane laugh
Deb’s thoughts on the year…Oh, what a year this has been! I guess as we are all getting on in years, health problems start to creep into the picture – in our case, they leapt in without warning!
.jpg)
So, as most everyone knows, the “medical season” started with Virginia (Willie’s mom) having an emergency appendectomy in late February, followed by me being diagnosed with a rare brain tumor (benign), followed by Phil (Willie’s dad) falling and breaking his hip, followed by me having brain surgery on April 30. Yep, kind of sounds like a medical marathon, doesn’t it?
I would have to say that the person who’s had the toughest year in our family has definitely been Willie. So much so, in fact, that he’s lost a bit of his normal humor mojo this year – leaving it to me to be the funny one for a change. Okay, so here goes…
As with all things, you manage to find some pretty funny moments along the way – you have to in order to get through it. And, since it is easier to laugh at my own expense than anyone else’s, I’ll keep this mostly directed at myself with an occasional excursion to chuckle at someone else.
As we hovered in the emergency room with Virginia during her Big Appendix Adventure, she kept apologizing and suggesting that it was “just a little gas.” Hhhmm – ruptured appendix, just a little gas – you decide…
A week before my surgery, I went to visit Phil in rehab (where he spent about 8 weeks) and he was concerned that he didn’t know the location of his “urine bottle” and asked me to find it (I secretly prayed that I wouldn’t lay eyes on it…)
Upon being told that I had a brain tumor, and verifying that it wasn’t cancer, I remember thinking – “damn, this is really inconvenient, wonder if I can just put it off for awhile…”
I came through rather long surgery with facial paralysis on the right side, meaning that pretty much nothing on that side moved. So what did the genius dietician serve me – broth with rice!! Imagine it – my lips don’t move and I have no way of containing liquids or solids in my mouth. I think you get the picture. Clean gown, please, garcon!
When I first got home from the hospital, I hadn’t yet mastered the whole mouth/lip thing. One of the funnier moments was when I was sitting on the sofa talking to my mom, took a dainty swig of water from my bottle, and watched it literally fly out of my mouth right at mom! We both nearly fell out of our seats laughing.
While I was initially horrified by my droopy face, I did come to find some benefits – for example, no lines or creases on the “bad” side! Yep, smooth as a baby’s butt! I am almost sorry to say that as motion returns to my face, my skin is once again starting to look that of a 52-year old (albeit a very young looking one!)
I knew going into the surgery that they would remove part of my hearing and balance nerve on that side, leaving me totally deaf the right side and probably pretty “tippy.”
The upside of being Single Side Deaf (SSD to those of us in the know) is that when I sleep on my “good” ear, I don’t hear a thing – including snoring, animals on the move, burglars, etc. It’s quite peaceful! And, if someone is seated to my right, I usually can’t hear them, so it is great when you want to ignore someone and get away with it.
I am sure that my neighbors are hiding behind their curtains wondering why I am staggering up and down the street while walking Carrie – no doubt they think I’m hitting the bottle really early in the morning! I am thinking of going for a walk with an empty wine bottle in my hand just to foster some gossip. Little do they know that I can stagger just fine without imbibing a thing! Put a glass of wine in me, and I can’t even make it down the driveway! Hhmm – maybe we should tape that and put it on U-Tube?
You see, you really can find the humor is just about anything. This has been a learning year for
Willie and me, to be certain. And while not every moment has been filled with laughter, we’ve found enough humor to get us through the year. We hope that you all find some things to laugh about or at least smile about this year, too! (Although please don’t feel like you have to top a brain tumor – humor can be found much more easily than that!)We wish you good health and moments of insane laugh
And, now, here are Willie's thoughts on the year (and perhaps some insight into why I love him so much...)
Each year I look forward to writing my portion of our Christmas letter – it’s somewhat cathartic as it’s a perfect forum for me to let free that inner voice with only a moderate amount of censorship – usually governed by my lovely bride’s better sense of what’s appropriate.
I must admit though, as the inevitable self-imposed deadline was quickly approaching, It was difficult settling on a topic, but I remained hopeful that something would fall from the sky – something that would be worthy of your time and of the Christmas spirit. Well, to be honest I found myself missing the most important part this year - the “funny” factor.
I typically become inspired on an early Saturday morning where I hunker down over my computer and start banging away at the keys. Usually, within minutes I find myself laughing with some of the things that come to mind - unfortunately most of which require immediate editing. If only I could send some of what so easily flows from the keyboard, you would, well, be scared….but probably pee yourself with laughter as I often find myself doing.
So where has the funny gone? Not sure really, but I have my suspicion it will return in time for next year’s letter.
You see, for me this was one of those pivotal years where the innocence of youth has seemingly slipped a little further away. Kind of sad really, but not because I’ve ever believed that there’s a pony in a pile of every poop (that’s a Debbi-ism), but somehow there was always a sense of security in knowing that if I screwed up, my safety net of family and friends would be there to dust me off, pick me up and point me in the right direction again. Now I don’t doubt that this will ever be untrue, it’s just that the mettle and security I so much cling to in the people that are a part of my life has been tested this year. And although there’s some good that has come out of all this, it has been a year of transitioning roles – one that forced me to pick up the tattered fibers of strength from those who have been my support and try to figure out how to weave them into my own personal armor and do my best to breathe more life into them. I just hope I’ve been half the son, brother and spouse that my family has been to me through the years.
Well, no doubt we’ll have many more opportunities to laugh and tell even bigger fish stories in the future, but whatever challenges Debbi and I will encounter, we’ll face them with the tenacity and courage that we have witnessed and benefited from in the people that we surround ourselves with.
Recently, my brother sent me an email that was passed on to him from a neighbor we had in Queens. It seems someone I called a friend over 35 years ago recently passed away. When my family moved us to NJ, we lost touch as is often the case with childhood friends, but the memory of our carefree youth remains even though I regret not having taken the time through the years to reach out. But it made me think about what could be salvaged from such a tough year filled with uncertainty – maybe there was even a lesson to be learned. I don’t believe it will have much value for those who have already figured it out, but for me it’s finally about looking ahead, carving out the future and not looking behind any more. Not sure how this new chapter will unfold, but I’m starting out with a couple of ground rules…
Above all else, family remains a priority but personal happiness must have equal standing, have no regrets, pay it forward when you’re able, but most of all...don't put off keeping yourself healthy - you don't always get to fix this later.
Not sure what this has to do with Christmas? This year I received the gift of clarity from my lovely bride – I just wish she didn’t have to go through such extremes to help me figure it all out.
Be well.
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