2008 Holiday Letter from the Bifulcos

Holiday Greetings from the Bifulco Family

Deb’s thoughts on the year…

Oh, what a year this has been! I guess as we are all getting on in years, health problems start to creep into the picture – in our case, they leapt in without warning!

So, as most everyone knows, the “medical season” started with Virginia (Willie’s mom) having an emergency appendectomy in late February, followed by me being diagnosed with a rare brain tumor (benign), followed by Phil (Willie’s dad) falling and breaking his hip, followed by me having brain surgery on April 30. Yep, kind of sounds like a medical marathon, doesn’t it?

I would have to say that the person who’s had the toughest year in our family has definitely been Willie. So much so, in fact, that he’s lost a bit of his normal humor mojo this year – leaving it to me to be the funny one for a change. Okay, so here goes…

As with all things, you manage to find some pretty funny moments along the way – you have to in order to get through it. And, since it is easier to laugh at my own expense than anyone else’s, I’ll keep this mostly directed at myself with an occasional excursion to chuckle at someone else.

As we hovered in the emergency room with Virginia during her Big Appendix Adventure, she kept apologizing and suggesting that it was “just a little gas.” Hhhmm – ruptured appendix, just a little gas – you decide…

A week before my surgery, I went to visit Phil in rehab (where he spent about 8 weeks) and he was concerned that he didn’t know the location of his “urine bottle” and asked me to find it (I secretly prayed that I wouldn’t lay eyes on it…)

Upon being told that I had a brain tumor, and verifying that it wasn’t cancer, I remember thinking – “damn, this is really inconvenient, wonder if I can just put it off for awhile…”

I came through rather long surgery with facial paralysis on the right side, meaning that pretty much nothing on that side moved. So what did the genius dietician serve me – broth with rice!! Imagine it – my lips don’t move and I have no way of containing liquids or solids in my mouth. I think you get the picture. Clean gown, please, garcon!

When I first got home from the hospital, I hadn’t yet mastered the whole mouth/lip thing. One of the funnier moments was when I was sitting on the sofa talking to my mom, took a dainty swig of water from my bottle, and watched it literally fly out of my mouth right at mom! We both nearly fell out of our seats laughing.

While I was initially horrified by my droopy face, I did come to find some benefits – for example, no lines or creases on the “bad” side! Yep, smooth as a baby’s butt! I am almost sorry to say that as motion returns to my face, my skin is once again starting to look that of a 52-year old (albeit a very young looking one!)

I knew going into the surgery that they would remove part of my hearing and balance nerve on that side, leaving me totally deaf the right side and probably pretty “tippy.”

The upside of being Single Side Deaf (SSD to those of us in the know) is that when I sleep on my “good” ear, I don’t hear a thing – including snoring, animals on the move, burglars, etc. It’s quite peaceful! And, if someone is seated to my right, I usually can’t hear them, so it is great when you want to ignore someone and get away with it.

I am sure that my neighbors are hiding behind their curtains wondering why I am staggering up and down the street while walking Carrie – no doubt they think I’m hitting the bottle really early in the morning! I am thinking of going for a walk with an empty wine bottle in my hand just to foster some gossip. Little do they know that I can stagger just fine without imbibing a thing! Put a glass of wine in me, and I can’t even make it down the driveway! Hhmm – maybe we should tape that and put it on U-Tube?

You see, you really can find the humor is just about anything. This has been a learning year for Willie and me, to be certain. And while not every moment has been filled with laughter, we’ve found enough humor to get us through the year. We hope that you all find some things to laugh about or at least smile about this year, too! (Although please don’t feel like you have to top a brain tumor – humor can be found much more easily than that!)
We wish you good health and moments of insane laugh

And, now, here are Willie's thoughts on the year (and perhaps some insight into why I love him so much...)

Each year I look forward to writing my portion of our Christmas letter – it’s somewhat cathartic as it’s a perfect forum for me to let free that inner voice with only a moderate amount of censorship – usually governed by my lovely bride’s better sense of what’s appropriate.

I must admit though, as the inevitable self-imposed deadline was quickly approaching, It was difficult settling on a topic, but I remained hopeful that something would fall from the sky – something that would be worthy of your time and of the Christmas spirit. Well, to be honest I found myself missing the most important part this year - the “funny” factor.

I typically become inspired on an early Saturday morning where I hunker down over my computer and start banging away at the keys. Usually, within minutes I find myself laughing with some of the things that come to mind - unfortunately most of which require immediate editing. If only I could send some of what so easily flows from the keyboard, you would, well, be scared….but probably pee yourself with laughter as I often find myself doing.

So where has the funny gone? Not sure really, but I have my suspicion it will return in time for next year’s letter.

You see, for me this was one of those pivotal years where the innocence of youth has seemingly slipped a little further away. Kind of sad really, but not because I’ve ever believed that there’s a pony in a pile of every poop (that’s a Debbi-ism), but somehow there was always a sense of security in knowing that if I screwed up, my safety net of family and friends would be there to dust me off, pick me up and point me in the right direction again. Now I don’t doubt that this will ever be untrue, it’s just that the mettle and security I so much cling to in the people that are a part of my life has been tested this year. And although there’s some good that has come out of all this, it has been a year of transitioning roles – one that forced me to pick up the tattered fibers of strength from those who have been my support and try to figure out how to weave them into my own personal armor and do my best to breathe more life into them. I just hope I’ve been half the son, brother and spouse that my family has been to me through the years.

Well, no doubt we’ll have many more opportunities to laugh and tell even bigger fish stories in the future, but whatever challenges Debbi and I will encounter, we’ll face them with the tenacity and courage that we have witnessed and benefited from in the people that we surround ourselves with.

Recently, my brother sent me an email that was passed on to him from a neighbor we had in Queens. It seems someone I called a friend over 35 years ago recently passed away. When my family moved us to NJ, we lost touch as is often the case with childhood friends, but the memory of our carefree youth remains even though I regret not having taken the time through the years to reach out. But it made me think about what could be salvaged from such a tough year filled with uncertainty – maybe there was even a lesson to be learned. I don’t believe it will have much value for those who have already figured it out, but for me it’s finally about looking ahead, carving out the future and not looking behind any more. Not sure how this new chapter will unfold, but I’m starting out with a couple of ground rules…

Above all else, family remains a priority but personal happiness must have equal standing, have no regrets, pay it forward when you’re able, but most of all...don't put off keeping yourself healthy - you don't always get to fix this later.

Not sure what this has to do with Christmas? This year I received the gift of clarity from my lovely bride – I just wish she didn’t have to go through such extremes to help me figure it all out.

Be well.

2007 Holiday Letter

This is the time of year when we, hopefully, take a little time to reflect on where we’ve been and where we are headed. In our case, life continues to be good and filled with many riches. Some
of the highlights of our year…

We became great aunt and uncle this year when our niece, Rebecca gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby boy in June. We flew down to Alabama in August to meet young Patrick, and what
a little charmer he is! We plan to get back as often as possible in order to spoil our grand nephew.

We spent a glorious two weeks on vacation in the Mediterranean aboard the Emerald Princess. One of the highlights of the trip was spending a day with Vittorio Bifulco and his family near
Naples. In addition to sailing to several ports in Spain, Greece and Italy, we also visited Turkey for the first time. We found Turkey to be a beautiful place with many exotic sights and sounds … and great food! It was a great time and we are already planning our next getaway.

Willie continues to race with the infamous “He Man Racing” team, and his times continue to improve. The team won several championships this year, in addition to placing third in a 24-hour endurance race in August.

We are both busy with work. Willie changed positions in his company and no longer travels constantly, which is great. However, Deb’s business has grown and she is now traveling every month of so. Still, we can’t complain!

We lost our beloved cat, Cleo, this fall, which was a sad time for both of us. However, it wasn’t long before we found ourselves bringing home another rescue cat to round out the menagerie. Little Phoebe was rescued from a highway in New Jersey and is still trying to figure out
how she landed here in what must surely be animal heaven. She’s about six months old and full of play - she is keeping Rocket (our male cat) and Carrie (our collie) on their toes!

Deb’s mom and Dad will be flying out for Christmas again this year. We’ll spend Christmas with all the parents as well as Willie’s sister. We are thankful that all of our parents continue to be in good ealth.

Willie has some thoughts to add to this (I know, this is what you’ve all be waiting for all year!) In the meantime, we wish you and yours a joyous holiday season and a
healthy, happy and prosperous new year!

And, now, a few words from Willie…

Where have all the Cicadas gone?
Well, it’s been another fine year of wandering somewhat aimlessly in search of the much coveted neighborhood horticultural award.

As you know from previous Christmas letters, the Bifulco residence is somewhat of a lightning rod for the Department of Environmental Protection (DEP). Yep, you’ll recall several years back, the International Space Station called home about an intergalactic hot spot emanating from 9 Tallyho Lane, the root cause of which was determined to be an overuse of lawn
fertilizer. Well, I’m here to tell you, despite the presence of our really cool ever-growing gelatinous-like “green pond” that continues to consume an increasing amount of land and the occasional inquisitive wild animal, the concept of “more of whatever you think is good can only be better” is definitely not the way to go with lawn chemicals.

Anyway, with nary a blade of grass to cut these days, and no longer bothered by the sounds of crickets, birds, mosquitoes and other familiar summer inconveniences, I found myself one magical summer night admiring our very own aurora borealis, starring blindly, almost literally, at the “green pond” from what we now refer to as the “safe zone” (a special shout out to the DEP for that yellow caution tape). And to my surprise, I noticed massive Buick-sized holes around the newly laid and almost unearthed patio pavers. Instantly, I was reminded of Bill Murray’s “Caddy Shack” where gophers invaded his world. How could this be? I asked. (No, not the reference to the gophers, but recalling a movie that debuted almost 26 years ago. )

After a thorough investigation of the organic matter that surrounded the holes, I surmised that this must be the work of a mole. Although not sure how a small protuberance on the skin, somewhat parasitic in nature and oftentimes requiring a host human to get from point A to point B could have morphed into a concrete-eating, patio paver destroying vertebrate, I abandoned the thought and decided this couldn’t be a mole – it must be the rarely seen but much sought-after vole!

Well, not so fast. You see, after exhaustive research and countless hours of field work…OK, let me stop there. Basically I shoved a really big stick in the hole and pushed a couple rocks into it, sadly and wrongly believing the interlopers were taken care of. The next evening, I returned to the scene where I had planned on posing for pictures atop the vole hill (similar to those you’ve seen when men brave the elements to bag their first big-game kill) only to notice those tricky little voles were not to be thwarted! It seemed my prior remediation attempts were for naught as there were many more vole holes - almost as if those swarthy voles were mocking me. In fact, As I got down on my knees and peered into the dark abyss, I believe to this day I was greeted by a gesture that could only be described as a little vole middle finger.

With my butt in the air and face slightly tilted at ground level, hovering within inches of my nose I saw, to my horror, a flying insect the size of my trusted 65 pound companion collie, which incidentally usually finds sport in chasing wasps and was now hiding in a big collie-ball under the deck. Immediately, I concluded that what I was looking at was the result of some genetic mutation that could have only been caused by the creation of the gelatinous “green pond.”

Great, now I’ve done it, I broke the earth! Debbi is not going to be pleased, I thought. Realizing that the stick and rock technique was not going to fix this, I ran as quickly as my weeble-like legs could take me to the house where we called the local pest control guy to apply his craft to the earth.

In fear of this story appearing less than truthful, I’ll skip over how that conversation went. However, we did settle on him joining us at our house to asses the situation. Upon his arrival, which incidentally precipitated another uninvited visit from the DEP, it was surmised that these helicoptersized pterosaurs’ where not flying genetic mutations from millions of years ago revived by the presence of the “green pond” but Cicada Killer Wasps! Well, based on how scary these things were, I would have much preferred the flying dinosaurs.

Anyway, it appears these Cicada Killer Wasps sneak up on the unsuspecting Cicadas and administer a quick jolt of Ambient-like drugs. Now don’t be alarmed, this is just meant to calm them for the flight back to the burrow. You see, these Cicada Killer Wasps are somewhat akin to our Santa Claus. They’re simply providing a toy for their young ones so when they’re awakened, they have something to play with.

Once again, not so much a traditional Christmas letter, but should you happen to see a seemingly drug-induced Cicada at your door during this Holiday season, invite him in. It was mostly likely a gift from our little Cicada Killer Wasps to you….almost magical, isn’t it?
Happy Holiday!
Willie, Debbi, Carrie, Rocket and Phoebe

2006 Holiday Letter

Yep, it's us again...

Every year I lament that I can’t believe another year has gone by – and this year is no exception. Where DOES the time go?? As usual, as I sit and reflect back on the year, I have to smile – life is good!

In January, I turned 50. Now there’s an event to make one really reflect on life! Willie planned for months for the big day. We spent the weekend in NYC, complete with ice skating in Central park (something I’ve wanted to do for years), a play and dinner with two of my dearest friends. On Sunday afternoon, thinking that I had had just about the best birthday weekend ever, we stopped into our favorite restaurant out here in the country for an early dinner … where Willie had assembled friends from near and far for a surprise birthday party! To say I was totally surprised would be an understatement! In summary – it was a 50th birthday I’ll never forget! And, I still can’t figure out how Willie managed to plan the whole thing right under my nose without me suspecting a thing.

Mom and Dad came out this summer to help us with a patio project, and we enjoyed a great visit with them.

In other news…My business continues to grow and prosper, and I continue to love being my own boss. I divested myself of my interest in Hearts and Hands Forever so that I could focus on my primary coaching and consulting business. I have also started doing some seminars and workshops, which I thoroughly enjoy!

We made our first trip to Puerto Rico last winter, which we both really enjoyed – something about palm trees and ocean breezes in the middle of February…

I had surgery for tennis elbow earlier this year – surgery went very well, but the recovery has been slower than I’d like. Why is it that the body doesn’t bounce back as quickly as it once did?
Willie continues to race with the He Man Racing Team – and loves every moment of it. They had a couple of top 5 places this year as well as some exciting “off track excursions” (read: wrecks). I remain eternally thankful for all of the safety gear they are required to wear!

Our nephew, Brian, graduated from West Point Military Academy this spring – the whole family was there and we could not have been prouder. He is currently completing officer training in Ft. Banning before “shipping out.” Meanwhile, our niece, Rebecca, who married Jack last year just announced that they are pregnant! So, we are anticipating becoming a Grand Aunt and Uncle next summer! Let the spoiling begin…

We celebrated our sixth anniversary this year – again, WHERE did the time go? Each year gets better and better, though.

We are planning a 12-day cruise of the Mediterranean in fall of 2007 with family and friends. So far, there are about 14 signed up – and still room for more!

Our family and friends continue to be in good health, for which we are grateful. And, our menagerie of pets (Carrie, Cleo, and Rocket) continues to provide us with laughs, trips to the vet, hair everywhere, and unconditional love…

And, now, a few words from Willie...

Is $15.00 Too Much to Ask?

The sending of Christmas letters has become somewhat of tradition in the Bifulco household for the better part of 6 years. Although I don’t know if the formality of it all has done much to reconnect with friends and family, at the very least it provides my disjointed meandering thoughts to mindlessly escape while freeing up some much needed brain space for other thoughts of little significance. That being said, my lovely bride has once again reminded me that time is quickly slipping away, so this year’s comments, not unlike past Christmas letters, have begun at 35,000 feet while traveling somewhere I’m sure I would rather not be.

I must admit, this is a story that isn’t new to some. It’s been an unresolved perplexing situation for quite some time. From the start, you need to know that we live in a part of NJ where we’re more likely to be accosted by a sleep-deprived bear than we are a mask-wearing gun-toting bandit looking to unburden us from all of our worldly possessions. However, we had reason to believe an ADT house alarm system was necessary (at least that’s what the traveling salesman insisted) for those times I was traveling the seven seas. Secretly, you should be glad he wasn’t selling encyclopedias as you would all be receiving books this year instead of this letter.

Anyway, we pressed on and had two very strange men that we’ve neither seen before nor since go through our entire house and wire every door and window – a network that would ultimately be connected to the local Police Department so they too would be made aware of all unwanted intruders. Although I was somewhat skeptical of giving the creepy installer guys the secret James Bond-ish code to “officially” program the system, I’m told I need to be more trusting and therefore complied.

So, a week or so after the installation was complete, we came to realize that it’s necessary to “officially” register our house with the police. Now I can vouch for the house since construction, but I can’t in good conscious attest to where the materials came from so we complied with the hope that the house doesn’t have to wear an ankle bracelet ala Martha Stewart. Although I haven’t shared this with Debbi, it’s my belief that this registration process is necessary so the police know where to send the citation if we accidentally set off the alarm.

OK, alarm installed…CHECK, weird installer guys out of the house…CHECK, monthly monitoring payment made to ADT…CHECK, bill from the police department received….CHECK….wait a minute?!?!? For what possible reason could we have received a $15.00 bill from the police department I asked. Didn’t the police want to know that we were fighting the good fight with them by investing in their police-to-captured-burglar ratio?

Then it came to me! The $15.00 is for bullets! Stay with me for a moment….ask yourself what would typically occur if your house was robbed and you didn’t have an alarm. Let me help. Burglar enters, steals all your possessions (even that old pair of jeans from high school you’ve been saving with the hope that you’ll someday fit into them again), burglar leaves. You arrive home, quickly notice your jeans are missing among other less notable items like TVs, jewelry, etc. You call the police; they arrive and take a report with no guarantees that you’ll ever be reunited with your possessions.

OK, fast forward now using the same scenario and this time our house is burglarized. Burglar enters, (secret alarm goes off at the police station) and while the burglar is stealing all our possessions (even that old pair of jeans from high school I’ve been saving with the hope I’ll someday fit into them again), the police quietly enter the house, startle the bandit (who incidentally is wearing my old high school jeans and fits into them perfectly) by shooting a round of six into the 2nd floor bedroom.

You see, it’s all coming together. By giving the police advanced notice that our house is being robbed, they’re more times than not able to catch the villains while they’re vandalizing and thus the need to shoot bullets. So, although I personally think it should be a wash, meaning I help the police catch the bad guys, and in turn they give me a pass on the cost of the bullets, I don’t think they see it the same way.

So, what does this have to do with Christmas? Not much I’m afraid. Except, as a full year passes without having been burglarized, I’m thinking we have a bullet surplus. That being the case, should you receive an alarm system for the holidays, we would be more than happy to ask our police department to send our unused bullets to your police department. It’s our little way of not just saying we hope you have a Happy and Safe holiday season, but back it up with the thoughtfulness of firepower that seems to have gone missing in Christmas’ past.


Be safe out there!
Debbi, Willie, Carrie, Cleo, Rocket, Smith & Wesson

2005 Holiday Letter

Happy Holidays!

It is that time of year and I am once again compelled to ask –"where the heck did this year go?" Well, I’ll attempt to reconstruct the highlights of the year for you all – and I’ll keep it brief so that Willie’s got plenty of room for his annual thoughts.

We took our first cruise this year – and really enjoyed it! I wanted Willie to see my "roots" so we sailed to Alaska in August. We were just in time to see the salmon spawning which was an amazing sight to see; and we also managed to find the hospital (now shuttered and abandoned) in Ketchikan where I was born. It was a trip down memory lane for me, and a great chance for Willie to see our 49th State.

What was really amazing is that we managed to fit thisin around Willie’s racing schedule. Yep, he’s still racing with the locally renowned He Man Racing team. They all had a stellar year with several top five finishes and even a first place in their last race of the year at Virginia International Raceway! Much excitement and lots of chest—puffing on the part of the He Men. They’ve done well enough this season to start looking for some sponsors now, which will, hopefully, help to fund next season.

As for me, my consulting business continues to build and grow. And, because one business wasn’t enough to challenge me, I became a minority partner in one of my client’s companies. We produce beautiful framed poetry art, and sell it both online and through retail gift shops under the name Hearts & Hands Forever. I am also serving on several boards, including for the county Chamber of Commerce. Okay, so now I know why I’m so busy!

In my spare time, I’m learning how to make wine! Yep, Bifulco Estates at your service. I am currently buying grape juice from various sources and doing the fermenting and bottling here, but am about to branch out a bit further. A neighbor and good friend is interested in growing wine grapes on some of his organic farmland, and has graciously agreed to let me get involved. So, next year I hope to get my hands dirty!

Our families continue to be in good health. My mom had another cancer scare this year with an aggressive skin cancer, but she was able to have Mohs surgery and is now considered cured. As she says – dodged another bullet!

We haven’t added any more animals this year – figuring that 3 are really enough! Rocket, our not-so-little male cat continues to rule the household. It’s pretty funny to see our 65-pound collie literally running away from our 12-pound cat. Our poor elder cat, Cleo, just tries to stay out of everyone’s way!

We hosted the usual large gathering of family for Thanksgiving – lots of food, laughs and memories. We were joined by the newest member of the family, Jack, who married our niece Rebecca this past year.
Well, guess I’ll turn it over to Willie now…


A few words from Willie…
Please send sunglasses to Santa!
Many guys approach Christmas similarly – we wait, and wait, and then wait some more. And then on December 24th, we spring into action like Rudolf shot from a cannon.

Well, this year was completely different for me. Contrary to popular belief about individuals who are part of "Team Y Chromosome," I’ve long before this letter planned for Santa’s arrival. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ll be out there with my fellow brethren shopping for my bride, searching for that perfect remaining post-Christmas morsel with as much vigor as if I had planned the purchase 18 months beforehand. But this year my thoughts focused more on Santa’s arrival, if for no other reason, then by mere happenstance.

Now I’ll admit that my approach was somewhat unconventional, and this is more about making lemonade out of lemons, but I’m pretty happy with the results. You see, it tends to get dark at night in our neighborhood, and we have terrible soil. Not sure why this is important?

Well, starting back in early 2005, the neighborhood men are forced from hibernation and kicked out from the warmth of their cocoon-like nests by their respective spouses – it seems marriage vows are stressed to their limits during the dark days of winter. You know that "...until death do us part…" verse? Well you may have noticed that as men we haven’t really evolved all that much (heck we’ve only started walking upright for a relatively short period of time), but we do know what fear smells like, and it usually emanates from us. So, to avoid "death" we "part" and transition from the nest and move outdoors to seek out new frontiers. And as luck would have it, we’re not the hunters we used to be, and our thoughts generally seem to focus on two things…our next meal being the other one. So new adventures really must be found within the confines of our own property.

Unfortunately though (this would be the "lemon" part), when neighborhood men were tending to the removal of broken tree branches, tearing down dear netting, laying down grass fertilizer, applying soil enrichment lime and grub killer, I decided, not unlike Punxsutawney Phil, to remain indoors until later in the season. After all I had plenty of time to whip the yard into the envisioned scenic wonderland…and I didn’t want to show my cards to the neighborhood too soon anyway. Well, as March turned into April, and then May, my procrastinating ways turned into action and ultimately results. You see, unbeknownst to many, I periodically receive emails from Scott’s with instructions on what I have to buy to keep my grass looking its best. Well, since I missed the pre-Spring de-grubbing fertilizing frenzy, I decided that a double dose of whatever Scott’s recommended would put me back on track. In fact, I purchased so much fertilizer, the U.S. Department of Justice’s ATF Agency required a background check before they would release the explosives, I mean fertilizer.

Just as planned, the double dose worked wonders! The lawn looked great, and although we couldn’t drink the well water for most of the summer and there’s some unsubstantiated rumors that there’s an ozone hole that hovers above Tallyho Lane, we were the envy of the neighborhood – at least in my mind we were.

Well, you know the saying, "what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger." Yeah, that’s a problem. It seems that the infamous Japanese Beetles larvae (a.k.a. grubs) love the fertilizer. I think it’s the equivalent of a Beetle B-12 shot because by June, we had experienced an infestation that would have made locust turn tail and head for sea. Picture a carpet of cranky starving flying Beetles with the sole purpose of eating everything green. At one point, I swear I saw the White Birch try to de-root itself and attempt to join the locusts.

Knowing we couldn’t allow the devastation to continue, a trip to the local nursery produced yet another series of fertilized-based Japanese Beetle deterrents that when mixed together produced a fairly significant glow to the yard. Now I don’t know what type of light a nuclear power plant mishap would create, but I’m pretty sure we’ve either got the makings of a nuclear disaster or the beginnings of the largest geographic pyrotechnic display in history.

Soon after the beetle lifecycle concluded, I ventured outside to review the resulting damage, two thoughts came to mind…it’s kind of strange to see tumbleweeds in NJ and where did all that dirt come from? Well, it appears that grubs, while making their way up to the surface to become beetles spend a considerable amount of time eating grass roots. Basically, the green fertilized-induced grass has no roots to sustain life. So, what’s a person to do? You’ve got it… having renewed my explosives license to purchase what seemed like 3 cubic yards of fertilizer we went back to the nursery to buy more grass seed, and Scott’s’ special super-duper Starter fertilizer.

Ahhh, we nailed it! We triangulated the weather reports from 3 separate news agencies and planned to lay down the seed/fertilizer mix at precisely the best time to allow for nature to gently water the seed over the coming weeks. Yeah, that didn’t work out so well. You see we experienced torrential rainfall for about a week, which quickly pooled the season’s worth of fertilizer and seed into a 3-inch layer of goop.

Here’s the lemonade part! Through the mixture of bad planning, heavy and frequent dosagesof fertilizer, beetle infestation, and bad luck, we believe we’ve created the equivalent of Alaska’s Aurora Borealis right here in Northern NJ.

So Santa, please stop by and no need to spend anytime on Mapquest, we have a great reindeer landing strip so just follow the light and don’t forget your sunglasses.

Debbi and I are simply glowing about this Christmas and hope you and your families have a safe and happy holiday.

2004 Holiday Letter

A quick note from Debbi…
Another year has somehow flown by – compelling me to ask, “where the heck does the time go??”

As usual, it has been another event-filled year for Willie and I and the twelve legs. No, we haven’t added any more legs to the household – after all, isn’t 12, plus two humans, enough? Both cats and our sweet collie are fine. Rocket, our little black cat and the smallest animal in the house, still runs everything and everyone in the house. Carrie and Cleo spend their time trying to get away from him, so things are normal around here.
Willie is now part owner of a racecar – yep, you read that right! He and two other guys went in together on a little Miata, which they race in SCCA. They raced as far south as Virginia this year and as far north as New Hampshire. Willie’s skills as a racer have improved immeasurably and by the end of the season he already had several top-ten finishes – not bad for his rookie year of racing! He just loves the sport and completely comes alive behind the wheel. We’re already talking about next year’s racing season!

My business is continuing to grow, although not without some bumps along the way. However, I am still having a lot of fun and my revenue continues to grow year over year, so I’m ready to head into year three as an entrepreneur!

Willie and I finally returned to Italy this year – we spent two weeks in Italy in November, starting out in Venice and making our way down to the Amalfi Coast and then Rome. Bellisimo!! We visited with the Bifulco family in San Giuseppe, which was a wonderful time, as always. We had a cool little Smart car as a rental and Willie practiced his newfound driving skills as we made out way south – driving in Italy is certainly an event!

All of our parents continue to be healthy and we are looking forward to another Bifulco/Meeks Christmas gathering this year when my parents fly out from Arizona. And speaking of gatherings, we had the Bifulco clan here for Thanksgiving this year – lots of love, food and wine. We had family from as far south as Alabama and as far north as upstate New York – what a great time!

And now, a few words from Willie…
Season Greetings from 33,000 feet

Since I've been navigating the blue skies pretty much the entire year for work-related reasons, traveling from one coast to the next, I've taken the next logical step. I've successfully completed the FAA's highest rated in-flight pilot's study course and have been unofficially awarded the much acclaimed passenger-pilot license.

Since the beginning of the year, not unlike Santa's pending mission, I've navigated about 75,000 miles and have received a fully authenticated provisional passenger-pilot license for the MD-80, 757, 737, 767, Ebraer EJR and the occasional prop plane just to keep things interesting. In fact, as I write this, many unsuspecting passengers are relying on my ability to keep this baby at 33,000 feet just long enough to cross the Atlantic back to Newark New Jersey's Liberty International Airport.

Like me, there are just a handful of unidentified passenger-pilots out there, (some of whom can only be identified by their short cat-like outbursts, which oftentimes are preceded by facial fidgeting immediately after a short burst of air turbulence); I can assure you that it was never my intent to pilot a plane. In fact, my aversion to flying has risen to such heights that my condition has been classified by many as… the monkey on the back of the white part of the knuckle. But, to accommodate the needs of my employer, and the seemingly infinite number of positions held since our last Holiday letter, I've taken destiny into my own hands and have become the self-designated pilot's pilot.

Although a somewhat unorthodox flying technique, but no less effective, I have fully mastered the lost aeronautic art of facial-grimacing, buttock-clenching, and silent screaming to the level of actually being able to fly most modern jets from as far back as seat number 22B.

Yes, if you haven't gotten the picture yet, I've spent most of my year scared to death...no not in the same way that marriage awakens you to the reality that it's a women's world and men are simply allowed to co-exist at their will and pleasure, but in the way that your conscious mind suppresses the idea that you’re buzzing around in a Brawny paper towel tube under the control of "pilots" similar in age to the kids who routinely beat up your mailbox during Halloween.

So, should you happen to be flying and see me or my other co-pilots back in the cheap seats with a look like we've been on a fiber-free diet for a while, please don't be alarmed, we're probably helping the forward-based pilot navigate through some nasty weather.

Debbi and I both wish you and your families a non-turbulent year!

Alpha Beta Kappa Bingo Bamo Tango Roger Out

2003 Holiday Letter

A quick note from Debbi…

Well, here it is – early December and the end of yet another year closing in! As usual, it’s been an eventful year. Where to begin?

Willie took on a new position with Cendant earlier this year and is now the Sr. Director of Operations for Travelodge. There are about 400 Travelodge hotels in the US, so this keeps him pretty busy. He’s wracked up lots of frequent flyer miles, which means that we’ll be flying to Italy first class next year! Other major events for Willie this year included his first professional car race! Yes, he raced a very small, very fast car against a pretty impressive field of drivers, including Mario Andretti’s grandson! The race was in Lime Rock, CT, and the whole family went up to cheer him on, including my parents who were out East for part of the summer. A good time was had by all, and Willie’s really got the racing fever BAD now!

As for me, I celebrated my first year in business! I’m still loving the work I do, and loving being my own boss. It was a tough first year, but when I look back on it I realize how much progress I’ve made. It’s very satisfying! I now have a healthy base of clients, with more coming along all the time – life is good!

Willie’s mom celebrated a year of being smoke free and we are all SO proud of her! My folks are good, although Mom was just diagnosed with Lyme disease. Fortunately, she spotted the telltale rash right away and went straight to the doctor. She insisted on being tested for Lyme, and the doctor put her on antibiotics immediately. This should prevent the disease from progressing. We’re keeping our fingers crossed, and of course, Mom is going full steam ahead with Dad in tow!

We still have our two cats – matronly Cleo and our little hellion, Rocket. Rocket continues to torture Cleo, and she just growls and hisses at him and gives him the evil eye. We think we saw her sticking pins in a little cat-doll the other day… Because life wasn’t interesting enough, we decided to add a collie to our family. We adopted Carrie on Thanksgiving weekend – she’s 5 years old and just lost her owner, so she’s a bit sad and lost at the moment. However, she’s a sweet girl and very loving and we think she’ll settle in well. The cats are reserving judgment…

What with Willie’s race in July and my hectic first year with the business, we decided not to take a big vacation this year. However, we did manage to get away to New Orleans for a long weekend, and we also spent a few days in the San Diego area. Both trips were fun and relaxing. We hope to get to Italy next year. We’d like to visit the family in San Giuseppe again, and also travel down to Sicily.

Our niece, Rebecca is getting married next year – her fiancé is on his way home from Iraq as I write, and we’re all hopeful that he’ll be home, safe and sound, before Christmas. As soon as the date is set, we’ll make plans to travel to Alabama for the wedding. Gosh, it seems like yesterday that Willie and I were planning our wedding!

Our “two week” project this year was to work on the landscaping in the front yard – as you might have predicted, it took most of the summer and into the fall! Who knew a new house could be this much work!!!???

A few words from William….
Well, it’s that special time of year when the sounds of tweeting birds and the Fall rains slowly give way to the first blanket of snow, gently reminding me once again that I should have worked to ready the damn snow-blower weeks ago. But no, not unlike Christmas shopping, I’ve fooled myself into the belief that if I just put things off one more weekend, I’ll somehow be able to pull everything together in the last minute. Well, some would be riddled with anxiety, but this plays to my belief, and quite frankly the mantra in which I live by. And it goes something like this, “Time management is a crutch used by those who have not perfected the art of procrastination.”

That being said, Debbi has helped me understand that there are certain lifestyle changes I would be forced to consider if I decided not to contribute to the annual Christmas letter NOW.

So here goes. As I think back over the past year and consider all that I have to be thankful for, it boils down to legs. Strange but true. You see, we all enter this life with a set, at least that’s the ideal scenario…more wouldn’t be so bad, less would certainly be a little more challenging. Regardless of the number you start with, however, they’re yours plain and simple. Instinctively, you know that they’re meant to serve you in challenges not yet encountered, or even considered. You protect them, nurture them, grow them, and treat them like gold. And in turn, they help you to meet all the challenges that life will inevitably throw your way. You take them to work with you, bring them along on first dates, and sometimes you fall in Love and decide to include another set of into your life. Now, if you thought two legs where great, then I’m here to tell you that four are much better!

Now, it’s not unusual that in a life that includes four legs, additional sets quickly make their way on to the scene. In my case, when Debbi and I came together, to my delight, I not only was adding one complete set, but she had two additional sets that came with her. Again, imagine my delight. My two legs, Debbi’s two, and her cat, Cleo’s legs – For those who haven’t yet nodded off from the eggnog, that’s eight legs! Wow, and that’s even before we moved in together.

Before too much time passed, we decided that we were ready to introduce some more legs into the household. Like all newlyweds, we talked about names, adoption options, timing, neighborhood playmates, etc. - basically all the things you would expect to discuss. Well, not too much time passed before our little bundle of joy flew into our lives, kind of like a Rocket. Well, before we knew it, Debbi and I amassed another two sets of two legs (that would be four) which brings our new total to twelve! I know what you’re thinking, man, that’s a lot of legs. I can assure you that when I was a little boy of just two legs, never did I consider the responsibility of so many legs – and don’t even get me started on the number of toenails.

Just when I thought we had come up with the perfect number of legs, we felt our family wasn’t complete. Sure, we had twelve legs, and I could even start to count the number of families on our block that didn’t have half as many, we just thought we could do more. So, we found ourselves having that old familiar conversation again…. do we adopt, can we afford it, how will more legs get along with our existing sets, etc… Well, this conversation spanned most of the summer months, and just recently we found Carrie, who coincidentally came with two pair. She’s great, and just what we wanted.

I can honestly say, after being blessed with sixteen legs in my life, our house now feels like a home. And at the end of the day, whether you choose to bring legs in your life that either come in two’s or four’s, it’s the most comforting of feelings. So, as I attempt to close this letter down, and hopefully give you an opportunity to recover from my ramblings, please allow all of our legs to wish you and the legs in your family the happiest of holidays.

Love to all, William, Debbi, Cleo, Rocket, Carrie

2002 Holiday Letter

Debbi here … wondering how it is possible that another year has flown by. For me, it has been a year of discovery. I took some time off this year to think about what I really wanted to do next in life. I knew that I wanted to work for myself this time around – and Willie wholeheartedly supported that decision. So, in September, I formed Bifulco Business Solutions, LLC and started my own consulting practice. I already have several clients, with more to come. And what could be more perfect for me – I’m getting paid to give people advice!

Some of the other highlights of the year …

We’ve had lots of family and friends visiting this year, which has been wonderful. My parents were here during the early summer and fall and are returning again in a few weeks for Christmas. And, Willie’s brother Philip and his wife Linda have been up from Alabama 4 times this year while visiting their youngest (our nephew) at West Point. We’ve really enjoyed spending time with them, and with our niece and. nephew We also hosted Thanksgiving here with 14 from the Bifulco family – what a fun day that was!

Virginia, Willie’s Mom, quit smoking nearly four months ago – we are rooting for her every day! And, my Mom passed a milestone this summer– 5 years cancer free!!

Willie had his gallbladder removed – even though they do it laproscopically now, it was still a relief when the doctors let me in to see him. He is feeling fine now, notwithstanding the four new holes in his belly!

We added to our family this year, too. Somehow, I found myself driving home one early spring day with a tiny black kitten, who Willie named Rocket. Cleo (our matronly cat) spends most of her time trying to get away from Rocket – who is just a total “teenager.” As much mischief as he gets into though, we find ourselves laughing (most of the time!) at his antics.

We also managed to squeeze in a 10 day trip to Italy in the spring – this time we spent a couple of days in Venice, then a week in a farmhouse in Tuscany. As always, we had a fabulous time, and I was able to practice my rudimentary Italian on the ever-patient locals.

Oh, and I went to Amsterdam for a long weekend in March with my best friend, Ellen. We had a wonderful time – even that early in the year, there were flowers everywhere!

So, it’s been another good year in the Meeks/Bifulco family!

And, now a “few” words from Willie…

“2 weeks should just about do it”

As I sit back one early Saturday morning, listening to the late Autumn sounds of whizzing bullets coming from the camouflage-wearing deer-exterminating militia (it’s the beginning of hunting season), I ponder this year’s Christmas letter while passively watching Rocket (the new kitten) on the old roll-top attempting to mate with our swivel-hipped Santa for all the marbles. Although I’m challenged beyond all mental capacity to comprehend how it is that we are within a whisper of saying goodbye to 2002, I decided to put fingers to keyboard and attempt to identify where the time has gone.

It seems as though it wasn’t but yesterday that Deb asked me to help dispose of last year’s Christmas tree - a task that would involve turning it into mulch and help put nutrients back into the soil from whence it came. Proudly…confidently…I proclaimed, “2 weeks should just about do it.” However, to this day it remains purposely hidden behind the woodshed so as not to remind us of yet another project that has fallen short of the vision, a vision that was once the source of great ecological-friendly pride.

As I delve deeper into the seemingly infinite depths of vast emptiness that has become my memory, I find yet another task that appears to have some relevance to where the time has gone. In early Spring, we realized that cedar mulch’s willingness to stay purposely hidden underneath the shrubbery (used by gardeners to hide plant roots that would otherwise go unburied) is subject to the whims, or should I say winds of Mother Nature. Once the sun’s mid-morning rays of early March found their final resting place upon the remaining mounds of snow, we realized that our finely manicured mulch-bed had decided to take flight (not unlike the guano-dropping Canadian geese that use our piece of the American dream as their personal rest area) and venture to parts unknown. That being the case, we visited our local garden center and arranged to have 5 yards (that breaks down to about “…honey, I think you over ordered!”) of the reddish-brown landscapers’ gold delivered to our little home on the hill. Unbeknownst by us at the time, we were late in the game to claim our prize. A future delivery was all that was available with the clerk assuring us that “2 weeks should just about do it.” Much to our dismay, a month had elapsed before delivery was made. Unlike last year’s stone delivery debacle for which we now can only enter our home under the darkness of night or be bludgeoned by our neighbors like Hester Prynne in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s Scarlet Letter, we had the mulch delivered in the driveway instead of the street. Secretly terrified by this mountain of twigs and bark that placed our neighborhood into what seemed like a permanent eclipse, while contemplating the plan to disperse Mt. Andover throughout the shrubbery, I climbed atop this mound, stood defiantly, and declared, “2 weeks should just about do it.” Needless to say, many a week had passed before actual plant and human life would see the sun again.

My lovely bride continues to accept and support the antics associated with what I believe to be a well-deserved mid-life crisis. The current crisis theme revolves around an unquenchable thirst to travel at great speeds with my rear precariously hanging 2 inches off the payment. This is achieved under the guidance of more seniored men in crisis at the auto racing school of Skip Barber. My much anticipated July trip to Lime Rock speedway was quickly approaching, thus enabling me to become 1 step closer to racing other crisis-ridden, slightly balding, big-bellied athletes of yesteryear. Although risking untold degrees of retribution from my male brethren, I secretly planned further than the next meal and scheduled this 2-day class 6-months in advance of the actual July 8th event date. As luck would have it, during several painful post-dinner evenings [read as 3:00am], I found myself awakened by what I believed was self-inflicted WEBER-itis…(a.k.a. under-cooked BBQ). Several painful attacks, a trip or two to the local emergency room, and several follow-up visits to various Doctors proved I was accumulating gall bladder stones quicker than Martha Stewart was unloading shares of ImClone. Don’t despair, in early June when we spoke to my surgeon about the gall bladder removal, he anticipated and responded to every question with the confidence-inspiring deftness of a Top Gun pilot. With my racing school date on the horizon, when asked about my recovery time, Dr. Fantastic once again displayed the awe-inspiring razor-sharp accuracy of Rolex’s Oyster Perpetual Cosmograph watch and proclaimed, “2 weeks should just about do it.” …needless to say, I never got to racing school until August.

With our quest to compete for the much coveted neighborhood green thumb award, and all health concerns behind us, in August we decided to take to task the building of a natural rock wall in the front yard. Heck, Bob Vila practically does this every Sunday morning during his 30-minute TV show. Knowing however that our expertise in this area could use some strengthening, an exhaustive rock wall Internet research venture was launched – one that was supported by no less than 3 trips to the local Home Depot “How To” book section. Armed with newfound confidence, leather gloves and time on our hands, I climbed atop the rubble that would keep future generations of archeologists busy for all eternity, and confidently declared, “2 weeks should just about do it.” Well, I felt we were on solid footing (every pun intended) with this project because we had the added benefit of living on what could only be the most densely populated rock farm known throughout NJ. Where we live, you virtually cannot throw a glass house without hitting a stone!

OK, so this one really got away from us…but not without a nasty letter being fired off to Mr. Vila. How far away you ask, well it was officially completed about a week ago. But in all fairness, we had to stop often to pass out from exhaustion.

So, here we are, another year has come and gone, but two things are certain. All future projects will have an out clause – 2-week projects will not be permitted to go beyond 30 days. And, this letter might be a little late as we planned on sending this year’s Christmas card with the belief that “2 weeks should just about do it”

Have a Healthy and Safe Holiday Season!